Chapter 7

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PIMPOLOGY - Chapter 7


VII               Sex Tips


A wise man once said "Sex is like Pizza.  Even when its bad, its still pretty good." 


Condom Use.  The use of condoms is highly recommended.  I know it's a drag, but..well you know all that.

Where to Keep Them.  I recommend that you keep condoms EVERYWHERE.  And always keep at least 4 together.  What the hell good is one're gonna need at least two for the night, and one for the morning and you'll probably wreck at least one trying to get it on!


I highly recommend that you keep some on you at all times.  I prefer to wear baggy pants with side pockets for storage.  You might be saying "But Dude..what if she finds them in my pocket?"  If a girl has her hand in your pocket, that means she's already decided she wants you.  That will just convince her even more.  I also keep some in the car.  This might be tough in warm climates, but I try to be mobile with my condoms.  There is nothing worse than a surprise attack and not being prepared!


You should also put lots of condoms under your mattress.  I separate them and place them strategically separated at approximately 4 -5 inches along the border.  This makes for very easy access..just lean, grab, peel and you're golden.  You don't ever want to have to say "wait here a minute."


Cunnilingus.  My motto is:  Eat It All & They'll Always Come Back For More.

Some things to remember:

1.        Take your time.  Explore and find our what she likes then make a mental note and practice, practice, practice.

2.        Keep going till she gives you the tap or finishes writhing on the bed angrily shouting your name or that of her favorite deity. 

If she's had an orgasm then she's exhausted.  Now is the time to have it your way.  Climb aboard and take care of business, boy!


Contrary to popular belief, the tap on the shoulder doesn't necessarily mean you are doing something wrong.  Most times she is just worried about taking too long to come or else she can't ordinarily come that way.  If you get the tap then I suggest you ask her to climb on top of you-9 out of 10 times she'll make herself come fairly quickly.  Then you can do the roll and end up on top of her to finish up. 


What To Do If She Won't Have Intercourse But Will Give You A Blowjob. This is what I call the Bill Clinton rationale.some woman have a totally warped view of sex; they see intercourse as more intimate than oral sex! I know this is totally whacked, but you will run across it every once in a while.  If a woman won't have intercourse with you but will give you either a handjob or a blowjob then 90% of the time she has a boyfriend.  The other 10% are just freaks.  If she's part of the 90% that has a boyfriend, then play it cool and enjoy it!  She'll be having sex with you within 1-2 weeks.  If she is part of the other 10% that thinks that somehow she is saving herself for that special someone.dump her. 


Math Equations vs. Dead Puppies.  Don't forget: Hold Out, Hold Out, Hold Out!

Sometimes the only way to keep from blowin your load is to think of something less exciting than the gorgeous chick on top of you.  I prefer to do multiplication tables in my head, but some guys like to think of dead animals.  Do whatever works for you and never enjoy yourself until she is finished!


Winter Bush:   If she doesn't trim then offer to do it for her.  If she won't let you.dump her. 


The Dude Fake Orgasm.  Drugs and alcohol can often cause your Johnson to have more stamina then you.  When this happens, don't be afraid to pull the old fake orgasm.  Be sure to make lots of noise.shouting, "I'm gonna come," works well, but I'd also suggest lifting them off the bed and slowly coming to a stop.


By faking one, you give yourself the option of giving up for good or else resting for a few minutes and looking like a SuperStud!  Just don't pull out, and keep kissing her neck etc.  After a few minutes of collecting your energy you can start (very, very slowly)  to give the impression that you are getting aroused again.  No woman will ever stop you unless its like the 3rd or 4th time of the night.  If they do..dump em!